New song - finally

After a looong dry spell, I finally got the inspiration to finish one of the many half finished songs I have lying around! It still isn't quite finished, I need to fix the vocals and rewrite the lyrics for the bridge, but otherwise I am fairly happy with it and would appreciate any comments.

For those who care, the drums are BFD 2 and the Piano is Ivory.

Wow, I really like the melody!  I have always had apprecation for people who play the piano.  I always wish I would have learned. 

One suggestion is I think a bass guitar would put a nice foundation in this song.  I know not needed in a lot of piano music, but I think it would sound good with this.  (This is coming from a rock/metal guy too...haha)

Nice swelling string section!!  Puts a nice ambience in the song.  Now for the vocals.....

Actually this was the wrong file! Many apologies Here is the right one (by the way there is a bass  guitar on this!)

Wow...big difference!!  I guess that first one was the wrong one.  OK...now I hear the bass that I should have.  I liked the song.  I agree with dressing the vocals a little.  reverb or something.  But I like how you enunciate the lyrics. 

I grew up with my dad and his best friend making small records with a local band many years back.  The way they harmonized sounds just like your vocals.  Very pleasing.

The only other suggestion, and I don't know the drum package you have, is a little bit of a less dynamic snare.  It really sticks out when its hit.

But, I like the arrangement, quality recording of vocals, strings, and I LOVE the phaser you had on the guitar!!  Reminds me of the MXR phaser also used on one of my dad's records.  I'd love to have an old script logo MXR phaser pedal...but they are pricey on EBAY.

Great song!!  Keep on writing.

     

Thanks for the feedback - the guitar is a fender strat played through the amplitube Jimi Hendrix rig, it is RAW! It is a distortion pedal, a reverb and an auto wah you hear - not a phaser, though the result is pretty similar.
It's interesting you comment on the snare because that was exactly the sound I wanted, but when it was finished I wasn't sure if it was too much - maybe it was!  . I am using BFD 2 processed through Sonar 7, so it isn't a big deal to change it a bit.

Oh and the harmony was done with Melodyne - the greatest bit of software this century!

OK, despite so few comments (thanks gtrman!) here is the final version. I redid the vocals (several times) and the middle 8 lyrics and adjusted the mix a bit. I reduced the drums slightly, but decided I like them like that so nyaah!

BRAVO!!  Wow that remix made the world of difference to me.  The vocals mix was EXCELLENT!  Very clear, not muddy at all.  Levels were very nice. 

Sorry I haven't checked the forums for a while.  I also just redid my acoustic guitar in the one I posted to remove the string noise.  I'll post that sometime.

Verry cool and pleasent song. I found myself listining over and over. Just through cans at work so it is hard to comment on the overall sound quality. The mix sounds good and I think the snare level is fine. Love to hear some more of your stuff.
Right on!

Nice to come back from holiday to some obviously well-tuned ears! Thanks for the comments, I have posted a lot in the past, but am constantly trying to improve - better tools and better technique etc. Hopefully I will post some more soon, but I must admit to slowing down recently - the inspiration is harder to find I guess!

Wow, I'm liking this, Mark. I think you've really found the style that best suits your voice. These kinda plaintive pop songs are very effective the way you deliver them. I like the doubled vocals, the piano arrangement sounds great. And very cool guitar solo.

It's hard to believe you're struggling with inspiration - it sounds to me like you're hitting your stride!

Chris

Thank you, thank you  It just takes way too long, I had the piano arrangement kciking around for a couple of years before I got round to working out the lyrics and melody. The doubled vocals were done with Melodyne, it is a great tool for creating harmonies (for thse of use who aren't Beach Boys!).

Wow.. congratulations : I'm a (bad) guitarist and a total newbie with Adobe Audition 3. I'm impressed and i think it's a great song. I really like the solo and the whole song reminds me of Supertramp andr Pink floyd.

Thanks Kalagan, Pink Floyd are one of my fvourite bands and one of the first things I learned to play when I first got an electric guitar, was the rythm riff from Sister Moonshine by Supertramp!